Fountains of Zane

Zane’s first (week) birthday came and passed Tuesday without much fanfare. He’s already well into his second week on the planet as an air breather; way to go buddy!

His second Dr. appointment was yesterday and while being weighed (nude, because, you know, he wasn’t born with a diaper on!) he let loose with the Fountain of Zane™ (FoZ), almost hitting the nurse’s assistant while his Dad tried to delicately block the stream. I say delicately because the flow from a little baby completely defies all laws of fluid dynamics: able to bend space and time to explore unimaginable destinations. You’d think that simply putting a cloth in front of the FoZ would be sufficient, but somehow that only serves to deflect the stream, like a well banked billiard ball. Even with today’s super-absorbant diaper technology Zane is able to pee in such a manner that it comes out the BACK of the diaper with hardly anything being absorbed along the way.

Shortly afterwards, diaper back on and Dr. exam over, we were chatting with Dr. Glowa when I looked down to see the FoZ arcing gracefully out of the front of his diaper, describing a perfect parabola below his little Xiphoid Process, and then gently descending back into said diaper. Like the little dutch boy I deployed fingers along the edge of the diaper to hold back the tide, the Doctor looking over with a wry smile.

I couldn’t be prouder.